So a couple days ago I came across this tweet in my timeline, shared by someone I was following:
Now I went on to make a thread about this very topic in response to her, but as expected, she has not responded to it, and just from looking at the original tweet, she’s pretty much outed herself right away with the “trans men are really women” rhetoric. Please note, that she is not blocked nor muted by me, so there is currently no barrier to her responding short of her choosing not to.
If you would like to read the thread I created, you can read it here.
The thing is, that she didn’t stop there. She continued on about how it was always trans women going on about removing gender association from terms, while ignoring the trans men who spoke up saying that we are trying to do that. She stated that she hasn’t talked to enough trans men about the issue, that she hasn’t met enough of them and that she would like that to change.
(Pic for reference)
This is a common TERF tactic that I have seen aimed at trans men, including myself. They see our anger and frustration at being ignored in trans related discourse, they see us being overlooked in favor of trans women when it comes to trans issues, and they work to fuel those feelings in the hopes of turning us against trans women.
The only time a TERF ever cares about a trans man is when they think they can use them as a weapon against trans women or trans discourse in general. When we respond to them in a way that does not conform to their ideas or desires, we are ignored at best and more than likely they will attempt to gaslight us with things like, “You’re really a woman” or other phrases meant to try to trigger our dysphoria or anxiety.
Yes, us trans men have anger at how people focus almost solely on trans women in the media. Yes, we are angry that the only time trans men really make it into the headlines or into the news is when they have transitioned and look like what one would expect a cis man to look like. Yes, we are tired of being told by society to be quiet because trans women’s problems are more important than ours (this is a problem due harmful views of masculinity and the harm placed on men and has nothing to do with being trans).
But we’re not angry at trans women.
We see their struggles, we lived through what they are living through when they deal with sexism, misogyny, and not looking like what is expected of a woman (cis or trans). We have experienced their fears of assault, harassment, rape, and murder due to our time being forcefully socialized to be a woman. We experience the misogyny and bigotry that they do, so we feel for them. We empathize with them.
We’re angry at the people who are excluding us from the conversations in favor of trans women. We’re upset with being excluded from discussions about reproductive rights and menstruation issues. We’re tired of being told what we are and what we aren’t by a society that doesn’t accept us until we look “man enough” in their eyes to be considered a man. We’re pissed off at the media and society at large that puts women under the microscope to find any little thing out of place to attack them with while ignoring men or dismissing their problems. We are frustrated with people who only care about trans issues because they know it will bring traffic to their sites if they use pictures that will incite the “men in dresses” rhetoric.
TERFs rely on our anger and our frustration. They see our struggles and associate them with the struggles of “women” and try to bring us in with the whole story of how they understand how hard it is to fight against the patriarchal structures of the western world, how they want to listen to us and work with us to better our work.
Until we don’t do what they want.
Once they see that we won’t be used by them, that we won’t play their games, they revert back to the same rhetoric they use on trans women. They tell us we’ll never be men, that we’re biological females (cue the Ferengi!), that we’re being brainwashed by the patriarchy. They tell us we’re confused, that we need to stop buying into the transcult. They tell us if we would just listen to them, we would realize we’re not really men, but that we’re women who are confused and being brainwashed in an attempt to erase women.