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Dear Men’s Rights Activists

My name is Michea, (Look up the name…I am not missing an L like so many of you like to say) and I’m a 32 year old male. More than just that, I’m a transsexual male. Despite what you guys like to say, I am not transitioning to a male body because I desire a penis, nor am I “giving up and joining the winning team”.

I am also a feminist, and have been ever since I was in 11th grade. Why did I become a feminist then? Well, let me tell you a little story.

I have always enjoyed “male” sports, and that includes weight lifting. I am in fact a double state record holder in my age and weight class for RAW Power Lifting, but that’s just fluff for this story. In high school we were able to take a class in weight training, and I readily leapt on it. There was a bit of a nasty surprise for me though, in that while we had three weight classes, they had very interesting names. The lowest weight class was called the Wimps, the middle was the Stallions, and the third was the Studs. There was not a single female in the middle and top classes, we were all in the Wimps. Even when three of us (myself and two other female lifters) met and exceeded the criteria to move up to the next two classes, we were told we needed to remain in the Wimps, because that is where we belonged. The females in my opinion were treated as nothing but eye candy for the men, or as punching bags if we were heavy lifters when the coach wasn’t looking.

I got into several fights my junior year, and even had to go home with a concussion when a male classmate decided to hit me in the back of the head with a barbell.

The unfairness of the class, and being treated as less than a person got to me, and I began to research and learn about how it wasn’t just because I had a sexist teacher, but because society still viewed women as less than a person. It wasn’t just women that they viewed that way, but anyone who did not fit into the “regular” gender expectations also got shunned and treated like less than a person. I’d already learned about how biased courts were when it came to women reporting rape (and how the statistics for men reporting rape were near non-existent!) back when I was 12 and I’d decided to write a speech about the subject.

Over the years, I have never stopped calling myself a feminist, and I worked alongside the Men’s Movement (they call themselves Meninists) as well as the feminist movement to help women and men get equality in the world. I also worked with the LGBTQ movement, and during school I was an advocate for AIDs awareness and getting the truth out there.

It wasn’t until recently that I learned that the term feminist was being used as a bad word, and people were attacking those who called themselves that. I also learned of the Men’s Rights Movement…which was the polar opposite of the Men’s Movement. I was shocked at how mean, degrading, and nasty many of the MRM were, and when I came out as a transsexual man, I found myself on the attack end of several MRAs who felt I was trying to invade their territory. MRAs who only knew me through my male name, and didn’t know I was a trans, called me a White Knight, a pussy, a little bitch, you name it. I also found myself at the receiving end of the more radical side of the feminists, especially those who were exclusionary feminists. I was told that I was joining the enemy, and that I should no longer call myself a feminist. I lost friends on both sides, people who I learned were hard core MRAs, and people who are known as TERFs.  While I understand not all people who call themselves MRAs are total douche pickles, I so far have only met ONE who isn’t.

Will both extremes and how they act stop me from calling myself a feminist and working towards equality?

Not on your life!

My daughters deserve to live in a world where they are not objectified and judged by how the look, and they deserve to know that chivalry works both ways. Gender/sex plays no part in chivalry, you want people to be nice to you, you be nice to them.  We all need to work on fixing the problems for both genders, not sit there and point fingers at each other and scream it’s everyone else’s fault.

As for the MRAs who call me a White Knight, or any of those other terms…or say I’m only a feminist to get women. I have five words: I’M GAY AND I’M MARRIED. And my husband is also a feminist. Neither of us look ANYTHING like the descriptions provided on the MRA sites for what a male feminist looks like, and we see you for what you are.

Remember that.

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